10 DUMB EXCUSES FOR WHY YOU ARE STILL SINGLE


 

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Hey dear, how are you doing.. well, of recent I have been pretty miserable ..it looks like my two weeks as a sales boy didn’t actually end after two weeks..  this is might forth week (thanks to my mum it’s now by FORCE!!) and it’s really NOT FUNNY! Oh, and I remember telling you to try it sometime, well PLEASE DO NOT TRY IT AT HOME!!

Thank you. Lol..  well I am preparing to go for my IT and I will be starting next week Monday..  I really hope it will be fun sha because for the first time in my life, I will be living  totally ALONE!! As in when I mean “alone” I mean I am getting a room, paying rent, cooking for myself (now, that’s the very miserable part) and making some decisions all by myself. Well, I know of course that it is going to be fun (I guess *rolls eyes*) ..lol, don’t worry, I will gist you a lot about it when I start shaa… ok, so yesterday I spoke to one of the closest and most amazing people in my life;  Amiola Damilola (I really miss her though) and then she brought up the issue of marriage and relationships 😮 !!..

lol well, that was where I got the inspiration to write this shaa.. Its addressed mainly to guys who are still single for the following reasons and I really think they are dumb shaa.. lol check it out:   chill, Before you continue, I have to make reference to TSCNG I got some of these reasons from there shaa ; www.tsng.wordpress.com .. lol it’s a great blog and I love reading his posts a lot though I don’t know the owner.. you can check it out sometime .. oya lets see..

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                                                  10 DUMB EXCUSES FOR WHY YOU ARE STILL SINGLE

You are ugly

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  lol.. well, to me, I think that is the dumbest excuse you can ever give for being single. Don’t they say beauty is in the eyes of the beholder?? By the way sef, if you can  answer this question correctly, then I promise to give you all my salary throughout my 6 months IT ; The Ph. scale is the standard used to determine the acidity or alkalinity of a substance, which standard is used to determine if you are handsome or ugly?? Bros, don’t disturb yourself, there is NoNe!! By the way , being ugly doesn’t stop you from getting a partner now, after all, the likes of Segun Arinze , Steven Tyler and Shane McGowan are happily married (I am not implying anything ooo) .. and if this :

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is possible, then go get that babe dude!

You are Broke

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Well, if you ask me, that’s the 2nd dumbest excuse you can give for being single!!lol.. Didn’t you go to school??! Dint your physics teacher teach you that like charges repel and unlike charges attract?!! Well, you might have heard that dating just might cost you some cash; her birthday, valentine’s day, credit to call, hanging out once in a while and stuff, you have two obvious choices: life is not a Nollywood movie, either you believe and follow that physics law I stated and get yourself a rich babe or just get one that you are richer than (trust me, you will always see).. and in short, these days, most girls aren’t some kind of commodity you buy with money. lol.. most of them don’t even care about your money anymore soo, Go get that babe dude!!

(According to TSCNG ) You are Handsome

  well, Unlike the ugly ones, this group actually believe that they are God’s gift to women. They feel like they are sculpted from the fabric of beauty itself. These guys walk abi float and act like they don’t even shit. If they shit sef, their shit doesn’t stink. Their shit is probably what Mars Bars are made from. Enough of this shit. So yeah, they wait for the perfect woman that complements their looks but the snag is that they lack so much personality, sense, manners and the basic things that make up a normal human being. You better stop deceiving yourself up and down, you think all the “OMG!! You’re so fine” you get on Instagram makes you some sought of superstar? Bro, humble yourself and let the lord exhalt you..or not. By the way, hope you haven’t forgotten that physics law yet?.. I’m just saying oo

You are not fresh enough

 Really??!!! Like you seriously think that is a problem?? Hahaha.. am laughing so hard at you! Look, even garage boys as dirty and rascally as some of them can be still have a babe they call “baby” and calls them “ swiittiiinn” back and they are happy.. look, some of them even claim to be players sef soo, just shut up and go get the babe dude!!

 You are too shy

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Ride on oo, ehn.. you hear? Continue being shy… don’t talk oo.. tall, fine boy like you will be doing like a  mumu and one black short boy with a broken tooth and bow legs will be getting all the fine girls. . my friend, you better wake up and “undull” if not ehn, you will just die single!

All the good ones are taken

like seriously??!! Look in the mirror. You are single aren’t you?? Are you not good enough to date and be dated? Stop making excuses, you know this one is a lie!! Go get that babe dude!

You only meet people when you are not looking

You think that Mr. or Mrs. Right is a shiny unicorn that will one day magically trot into their life and profess their undying love. You have heard a story about a friend of a friend who met their soul mate in some crazy way and got dating two weeks later. It’s always a friend of a friend. That couple never has a name. You will never meet someone if you are expecting your princess to save you or need rescuing. Dude drop the romcom wishes, put on your big kid pants and get that babe!!

    You are both Ugly and Broke

    lol, well according to tscng, relationships are not for everyone: 1cor 7:8

(According to TSCNG) You are a player

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so yeah, guys have noticed they can play trial matches for different clubs before deciding which club they’ll permanently join. So, rather than put their all into impressing at the trials, they put up average performances. These guys eventually get to the point where they realize that there is more to life than playing but this realization might take forever. Be there forming player up and down o, continue. Until your mates all settle down and the only settling you’ll be doing is on your couch, eating regrets out of a paper bag while tears stream down your face. No continue you hear….

You are me

Am sure there are more reasons and excuses you give yourself for still being single. Maybe you are waiting for a babe to breakup or you want to go to a monastery or something.. Or you are just like me patiently waiting for that one perfect lady.. or anything else.. Please  share some of the reasons and excuses you have for still being single in the comment box and also the non-singles can also join the discussion… lol

.. takia and have a nice weekend J..share your reasons and excuses too oo..

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19 thoughts on “10 DUMB EXCUSES FOR WHY YOU ARE STILL SINGLE

  1. Awesome pos! I always tell dudes that all it takes is a little conversation. Anyone who thinks they can’t get a girl is just lazy. If you’re shy there, are shy girls. There are plenty of people for everyone. People are afraid of failure, and that’s the only reason they’re single. They don’t want to be turned down. The fact of life is that it takes work to do anything worth while, and that includes finding a girlfriend. Great job with this one, man.

  2. I’ll go with waiting for the perfect girl. I don’t want to get carried away trying this girl or that girl. Don’t forget the saying that the patient dog eats the fatest and sumptous bone. So I’ll just wait so I won’t miss her.

  3. lol… I talk to many girls but there’s this girl am actually shy when talking to her and i love her i don’t know how to go about it….joel i need your reply

  4. lolzzzzzzzzxxxxxxzzzzzzz…
    lolzzzzzzxxxxxxxxxxxxxz….
    lolzzzzzzzzzzzxxxxxxzzz….
    wondering whats so funny?
    Buddie,dis z an accumulated laughter,right from d sales boy event to this series(shy,broke,not fresh enough and being ugly part)……
    mehn,i just hope my intestines won’t pop out because of my laughter….
    i couldn’t hold it in,i had to express it in a written from……
    this z really an educative and comical article……
    nice one buddie,thumbs up,keep it up….
    U got to see d eagles flying in me,i couldn’t imagine myself as a source of inspiration not to talk of inspiring u(d don of writers)..
    I’m so proud of u…..
    looking forward to u IT series….
    Be a good boy,don’t be carried away with the fantasies of freedom and keep doing your fans proud….
    Like your mum called u ‘man’, i guess i concur with that adjective,ops!maybe noun……
    keep flying in bright,glittering and shining colours….
    THUMBS UP……

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