HOW STUPIDITY SAVED MY LIFE


 

So, as I always do, to all readers of this blog, I wont to say a very big thank you first. As you guessed, I am still on holiday and trust me, you really don’t want to be in my shoes. The only time I get to have fun is when I go to the basketball court with the boys. Any other time, gbosh!! Dull time!! Hahan!! Even at  the court sef, I tend to wonder what is always wrong with ‘some’ kind of people. They will just be staring at you with their eye balls  shouting “What is this short boy doing on the court??”

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Alright, you guessed right… that’s me in the middle of those two Iroko looking boys. Don’t worry, I know I am a little bit close to the ground.. but all my enemies, you better know it is just a matter of time! Hahaha! *just joking* so, today’s post “How Stupidity saved my life” . Well, yea you guessed right again. It happened in high school and it was between my guardian, myself and my mum. Read, Share, Comment (if you like), Like (if you like) but please save me a lot of stress by subscribing to my newsletter…. Thank you…  Enjoy the post J .

HOW STUPIDITY SAVED MY LIFE

 So back in the hostel, when I was a junior student, you know we were all young and naïve and well, not so innocent though. So that Saturday afternoon after prep, my roommates and I were just ranting about home and you know now, when gist finishes in the mouth of some juniors, the next thing is to form one. well, suddenly, everybody in my room had girl friends at home and they were all like: even my mummy knows her; she comes to or house very well ; mummy even allows her to cook with her for the family on Sundays ; my parents know I am dating her, etc and I just sat on my bed wondering if I was the only one whose parents will give a big knock on the head if I ever mentioned the idea of having a girl friend.. But one thing I learnt from Jss1 is that if you tell a lie and you are not in ss3, they will still catch you and you will so hate yourself. Well, my house was different. If you ever mentioned the idea of unnecessary fun, my parents will be like :

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Talk less of having a girlfriend at what class??… lol..  well, even I knew deep down inside of me that I didn’t need one and there was nothing I was even going to use one for but, you know now… you know what happens when all your fellow hostel mates make you feel like the odd one out.. . And me again that I was bringing ‘good results’ home. If you don’t understand what I mean click .  So, on that day shaa, my jobless self made up my mind to get one. I really still feel dumb for believing those jargons guys mehn lol . Hahahaha!…. That is why I like myself. I never settle for second best.. *smh* no I don’t!  I went for the best and the most intelligent girl in class then.  Well, let’s cut the long story, she was actually the most intelligent student in class. Yes! That one..lol… . though God know I didn’t have the guts to go and meet her, but I didn’t want to admit it to my roommates since they already knew I liked her so they were always like :

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.. And soon enough, they started considering me as Stupid and started doing this really annoying thing of “hey you cant play the game with us… you are odd” etc.. Did they expect me to go and play with ss3 students or something ??!!  Well, while my roommates did that, my other ‘reasonable’ friends  in school were always like Guy

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At the end of the day, I actually never went.. lol…

Well, I kept postponing until the school open day. My mum came that day and went to see all my teachers (you can trust my mum, when I say all, I actually mean ALL!). Though I made sure it was my guardian “Franco” she saw last. When we got to his office, he wasn’t there so I thought my prayers were already being answered since I didn’t need anybody to tell me that I don’t have a CA with that man. Mumsy asked me to go and pick my bag so we can go home. Unfortunately, just at the entrance of my class, we met this man. When he sighted my mum, he dropped everything he was doing and came over to her. Meanwhile, I was planning to tell my mum about my girlfriend ish when I got home… Franco then started. “Your Son doesn’t have any CA o mummy” and you can trust teachers in my school, they will help you nourish your case ehn.. Add pepper, add salt, add indomie seasoning sef.. lolzz..Practically, everybody in school knew I didn’t have a lot of friends talk less of girls. I hardly spoke to any girl then sef bt my dear franco told my mum that…. (OMG! I can still remember his words clearly .. he  said) “It is girls he is always following, it is between me and him” .. Half a million things crossed my mind at that moment. I felt like shouting Franco, why are you lying now!!! Bt my moth was just too heavy to say anything.  My mum was angry! And she pulled my ears but for our family decision of not disgracing each other outside, she let go of them. Well, my mummy was like … [hehehehe.. I really can’t remember all what she said but the ones that refused to leave my head were these ]“ FRANCO, WHO ARE THOSE UNCIRCMCISED PHILISTINES, I WANT TO KNOW THEM!!” well, obviously since there was none, all franco said was “ it is between me and him, I can’t tell you” them mummy faced me and said “OSE, SO YOU HAVE DECIDED TO GO AND SEE THE DAUGHTERS OF THE LAND ABI??… SO YOU HAVE STARTED FOLLOWING THE GIRLS FROM THE GENERATION OF JEZEBEL ABI”.. All I did was to keep mute and stare at the floor. I actually felt like laughing but I just couldn’t open my mouth.. Though I still say it to make jest with my mum now.. And each time I remember, I laugh at myself in roman numerals..lolzz… but come to think of it, what would have happened if I had jumped and told her about the girl friend ish just before seeing Franco?? Mehn..lolzz.. That day was just dumb! On that day, I just vomited the idea of having a girl friend at that class.

 

 Thank you for reading and that is how stupidity saved my life.

(follow me on twitter @joeloseiga)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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29 thoughts on “HOW STUPIDITY SAVED MY LIFE

  1. Hehehehehehehe… Ose, you are so so so funny, if i were your mum ehn.. i would have given you a knock on the head.. lol.. very nice tho .. hope i get to meet you one day. 😀

  2. Lmao.. you sure were one hell of a guy in high school.. lol and i wonder where your mummy got ‘uncircumsised philistine’ from.. lolzz

  3. Lmfao.. dont worry Ose, it wasnt only your parents.. almost everyone’s parents were like that *whispers* including mine .. lolzz..

  4. Never knew you were this short! Buh i still like you thooo.. u write really nice stuffs… . I guess God saved u that day .lol

  5. .. not only you o bros. You even try. My malee don come spoil all my parol for secondary school b4.. I just like to dey read all your thing shaa… i dey feel u o bros

  6. lolzzz…..wao,I’m really impressed with what you have done with your blog buddie….i must confess,u’ve got some fascinating stories and article…..pls, keep this up……thumbs up

  7. Wow really cool write up bro!! I really love em(every single one of em).
    More grace!!! #BestWriterOfTheYear
    Looking forward to your Nysc write-ups(My Encounter in The Barracks) lol…. U r mouthed

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