Let me start by saying a big thank you to all the constant readers of this blog. I love you (I guess) and thank you shaa… and before I forget, a very big shout out to those reading this blog from UAE. Their number seemed to triple over the last few months. Well, my holidays have been really dumb and dry and trust me, you don’t want to be in my shoes. I have been reading, travelling, writing and doing things jobless people do shaa … and the bad thing about it is that I AM NOT GETTING FATTER!!! To worsen the case, mumsy has almost finished turning me to one of her sales boys sef. The only kinda good thing about this holiday is that I get to eat out almost every day. Sorry I haven’t posted anything for about a week now, my laptop crashed and I am still wondering why and how tho. And you really cold save me so much stress by subscribing to my news letter… Really! J.. Ok today’s post: “The world sucks huh? Then kill yourself” I just wrote it this morning after popsy’s mechanic came to fix something in his car and kept on complaining to me about how miserable his life is… oh, and you can tell me what you feel about it ( if you like) .. OK now, today’s post:
The World Sucks huh?? Then kill yourself!
First, I am not a motivational speaker, hun hun *SMH* no am not! You know why?? Because to me, those people are liars! Those guys make you think that you don’t have any problem at all. They make you think that life is such an easy place to be. They turn your head until you think that your problem is as simple as playing the primary school game “jangorrovver epo motor” (which I know is “jangle over like a motor”) until you end up making the wrong choices . Well, I see motivational speakers as con men. Have you ever wondered why their services are never for free?? You pay! And you know what they are doing?? They are “selling you hope” look, you have a problem? It is big abi? And you know shey? You better sit down and think about how to face it. If you tell me, Ose, see what is wrong with me, am I the only one in the world?? I have the biggest problem in this world, I am just tired! I don’t know what to do and all those other funny rants
……. No matter how bad it is, I will always give you two options;
1) sit down, think and face it or
2) go to the market, by a very sharp knife (from a mallam oo because those guys can sharpen the hell out of knifes), then go to your house, take the most comfortable position you can ever imagine and STAB YORSELF TO DEATH!!.
Look, everyone has a problem. Really everyone on this planet does. Haha! Yours just crossed your mind right now! Or just now! Everyone has something he is forced to live with. It might be an addiction, it might be your health it might be an experience it might be anything! Back then when I was in secondary school, a teacher once called me and said “why are you always smiling??” I just smiled and didn’t say anything but deep down in my mind I was like “bros, do you expect me to paint my face black or something?” look, if you think your problem is the biggest in the world, you are jonzing! I have worked with people who have Aids and Cancer and even the ones I know still try to live a happy life.
If you have one leg, remember there is someone without any legs at all. If you don’t have legs, remember there is someone without both legs and hands. If you don’t have both, remember there is someone without both, who is also deaf, dumb and blind
Whatever it is, that your problem is, your brain can do the thinking.. Someone somewhere has a bigger problem than you do. So, you can try to solve yours, learn to live with it OR chicken out, and get a knife, do the world a favor and GBOM!! KILL YORSELF.
The choice is yours. Oh! And remember, stabbing yourself is going to be soo painful and you will spend “forever” in hell!! And trust me, they don’t share bugger there . You doubt me?? Then try it